We are absolutely thrilled to share the incredible news: our family is growing, adding “s’more” love to our lives! We are joyfully expecting Baby B, due in May 2021. The path God has woven for us to reach this beautiful milestone has been nothing short of miraculous, and our hearts are overflowing with gratitude for this precious gift.
Our Long-Awaited Journey: The Backstory to Baby B
Our journey to conception began long before we officially started trying for a baby. It was a two-year exploration into understanding my body and overcoming significant hormonal challenges. After discontinuing birth control, I had hoped my cycles would normalize, but instead, I was plunged into a difficult period marked by severely irregular periods and persistent, debilitating cystic acne. This wasn’t just a cosmetic issue; it was a deeply frustrating and often painful experience that impacted my confidence and overall well-being. I tried countless remedies – specialized acne treatments, various moisturizers, dietary changes like eliminating dairy, and even going makeup-free – but my acne only worsened.
After nearly a year of no improvement in my menstrual cycle, it became clear I needed specialized medical attention. I began consulting with an endocrinologist, marking a crucial step in our journey. This involved numerous blood tests and multiple appointments to thoroughly investigate the root cause of my symptoms. In the spring of 2019, I received a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is often a diagnosis of exclusion, meaning other potential causes must first be ruled out. My case was not typical; I didn’t present with all the classic symptoms, which made the diagnosis somewhat elusive. While having an answer was a relief, the initial treatment options seemed limited, leaving us with a sense of uncertainty about our path forward.
We continued to diligently monitor my hormone levels. In November 2019, a significant jump in my prolactin levels was detected. While elevated prolactin can be associated with PCOS, an unusually high level can indicate a more specific condition: a tumor on the pituitary gland. This led to an MRI of my brain in December 2019, which confirmed the presence of a small pituitary tumor, known as a prolactinoma. This discovery was both alarming and clarifying. Prolactinoma can hinder conception because elevated prolactin essentially “tricks” the body into thinking it’s already pregnant, thereby suppressing ovulation. My doctor expressed confidence that treating the prolactinoma with medication would normalize my prolactin levels and, in turn, significantly improve our chances of conceiving. Indeed, the medication brought regularity back to my menstrual cycles, and my acne showed noticeable improvement. However, despite these positive changes, a positive pregnancy test remained elusive.
Six months passed without a positive result, prompting us to schedule a follow-up meeting with my OB-GYN to explore our next steps in fertility treatment. We were presented with a comprehensive range of options. The initial phase involved further investigations: a semen analysis for Ryan and additional blood tests for me to confirm ovulation. Encouragingly, my tests indicated that I was ovulating independently, and Ryan’s semen analysis came back within normal parameters, reassuring us that conception with his contribution was viable. With these foundational checks cleared, the next crucial step was an HSG (Hysterosalpingography) to assess whether my fallopian tubes were open and clear of any obstructions.
The HSG procedure took place in August 2020. I remember feeling a mix of apprehension and eager anticipation. It was just another hurdle in what felt like a very long race, but I knew it was a necessary step, especially if we were to consider more advanced interventions like IUI or IVF down the line. The procedure itself was quick, though intermittently painful. To our great relief, the results showed no blockages in my fallopian tubes! We had heard anecdotal accounts from our doctor about some women conceiving shortly after an HSG, theorizing that the dye used might help clear out minor blockages or “prime” the uterine lining. While I clung to a tiny spark of hope, I consciously managed my expectations, not wanting to invest too much emotionally in the possibility of being one of those “lucky” women, just in case it didn’t happen for us.
With the prolactinoma medication, my periods had become more regular, typically preceded by several days of spotting. However, in the cycle immediately following the HSG, this usual pre-period spotting was conspicuously absent. At first, I simply wondered if the HSG had perhaps “cleaned things up.” Yet, 3-4 days before my expected period, Ryan, ever the optimist, suggested I take a pregnancy test due to the lack of spotting. My skeptical self, perhaps as a coping mechanism against further disappointment, retorted, “I’ll prove to you that I’m *not* pregnant!”
I took two tests simultaneously, just to be thorough. I set a timer for five minutes and walked away, bracing myself for the familiar single line. When the timer buzzed, I cautiously re-entered the bathroom. My eyes fixated on the tests, and there it was: a very faint, almost imperceptible positive line. “RYAN, oh my gosh! I think there’s a faint line!” I exclaimed, my voice a mix of shock and disbelief. It was incredibly faint, and my mind struggled to accept what I was seeing. But Ryan, with unwavering certainty, declared, “You’re pregnant!”
That evening, we went for a long walk, our conversation filled with a whirlwind of excitement, dreams, and tentative discussions about baby names and nursery ideas. Despite the initial shock, the joy was palpable. To confirm, we decided I would take a more “reliable,” albeit pricier, pregnancy test the next morning. True to Ryan’s intuition, it also displayed two faint lines, solidifying the incredible news. I was still utterly shocked, a feeling that lingered for days. For women who have experienced infertility, the initial excitement of a positive test can often be quickly followed by a unique form of anxiety: Will the baby grow? Is this really happening? The first few weeks before the initial prenatal appointment are often fraught with uncertainty and quiet apprehension.
Our first prenatal appointment, initially scheduled earlier, was unfortunately pushed back due to our doctor’s unavailability. Waiting until I was 10 weeks along felt like an eternity, each day a slow tick of hope mixed with a persistent, underlying worry.
First Trimester Week by Week: A Rollercoaster of Emotions and Symptoms
The first trimester was a period of intense change, both physically and emotionally. Each week brought new sensations, challenges, and moments of profound realization.
Week 4: The Start of the Unbelievable
This week was a blur of normalcy, excitement, nervousness, and sheer shock. Despite the monumental news, I continued my usual routine, testing recipes and completing two photoshoots. It felt surreal, as if I was living a secret miracle.
Week 5: Anxiety Takes Hold
The initial shock began to give way to significant anxiety. I’m no stranger to anxiety, especially during major life changes or travel, but this level of emotional intensity caught me off guard. This week was deeply emotional, at times terrifying, and my sleep suffered. Food aversions started creeping in, prompting me to experiment with various anti-nausea strategies. This was also the week we joyfully shared our news with our immediate families, adding another layer of excitement to our journey.
Week 6: Excitement Overrides Shock
The persistent shock of pregnancy finally started to wane, making way for genuine excitement. To combat morning sickness, which often struck in the middle of the night, I started bringing oatmeal to bed with me, ensuring I had something gentle and easy to eat upon waking. My body began to crave “real” food like meat and potatoes, shunning any snack-like items. Sweets, surprisingly, became a strong aversion.
Week 7: Distraction and Delicious Cravings
I found myself taking things much easier this week. My brain felt constantly distracted, making it challenging to focus on work. The cravings continued to evolve, with tacos, nachos, and spaghetti topping my list. Sweets remained firmly on my aversion list.
Week 8: The Couch Office and Registry Overwhelm
The couch officially became my new “office” as fatigue and nausea made regular desk work challenging. This week also marked the beginning of my deep dive into baby registry research – a truly overwhelming experience with an endless array of options! However, looking at tiny baby clothes and gadgets made everything feel incredibly real and exciting. Cravings shifted to breakfast burritos and BLTs, while burgers joined sweets on the aversion list.
Week 9: Nausea Intensifies
Nausea became significantly worse this week, particularly during the afternoons and evenings. I only threw up once, but the constant gagging was truly unpleasant. Comfort foods took center stage, with breakfast burritos, Cheetos, and muffins becoming my go-to cravings.
Week 10: A Moment of Pure Relief and Public Announcement
Nausea and bloating continued to dominate my afternoons and evenings. This pivotal week brought our very first OB appointment. Seeing our tiny baby wiggling its arm and hearing a strong, steady heartbeat was an overwhelming moment of pure relief and profound gratitude. It confirmed everything – I was truly pregnant, and our baby was thriving and growing perfectly on track. Thank you, God, for this precious reassurance! After this incredible appointment, we felt ready to share our joy with the world, making our social media announcement. Since it was near Halloween, we embraced a festive theme, and our “s’more” costume idea turned out to be incredibly cute and unique! To commemorate this milestone, I also bought our baby’s very first item: an adorable pumpkin onesie.
Week 11: The “Fluffy” Phase and Headaches
This week ushered in what I affectionately termed the “fluffy phase” – nothing seemed to fit comfortably anymore, and anything tight around my waist was simply intolerable. Sweets, which had been a strong aversion, occasionally started to sound appealing. I also experienced some particularly intense pregnancy headaches, adding another layer of discomfort to the mix. Hash browns, cheese, and crackers became my new comfort cravings.
Week 12: A Glimmer of Improvement
As the first trimester drew to a close, I finally started to feel a noticeable improvement. The intense nausea began to subside, though gas and bloating remained constant companions. Crucially, my energy levels also started to return, bringing a much-needed sense of vitality. My cravings settled on familiar favorites: hash browns, pasta, and oranges.
Beyond the Symptoms: Support and Reflection
Throughout this entire first trimester, Ryan has been an absolute pillar of strength and support. His unwavering compassion has shone through in countless ways – from making dinner when I couldn’t face the kitchen to fetching me food when nausea struck, and patiently listening to my every worry and discomfort. He consistently reassured me that all the changes I was experiencing were normal, becoming my steadfast rock through every new challenge. His love and dedication have been truly invaluable.
A challenging side effect of pregnancy, for me, has been the unfortunate return of severe cystic acne. Before my pregnancy, I had battled cystic acne for a long time until my prolactinoma diagnosis and subsequent medication provided significant relief. However, since that medication is not safe to take during pregnancy, my acne has flared up once again, proving to be a frustrating and emotionally taxing setback. It’s a reminder that even amidst the joy, pregnancy brings its own unique physical hurdles.
As I reflect on this miraculous first trimester, my heart is overflowing with profound gratitude. God, thank you for blessing Ryan and me with this precious baby. I am so deeply grateful that I can bring all my worries and fears to You, finding solace, rest, and peace in Your comforting word. Please continue to grow us, prepare us, and equip us to care for, nurture, and unconditionally love this child You have entrusted to us.
First Trimester Must-Haves: Our Essential Comfort Items
Navigating the first trimester comes with its unique set of challenges and needs. Here are a few indispensable items that made a significant difference in my comfort and well-being:
- Lululemon Align Leggings: These leggings were an absolute lifesaver. Their incredibly soft, buttery fabric and gentle stretch made them practically the only pants I could comfortably wear. They adapted beautifully as my body began to change, providing comfort without any restrictive feeling.
- Comfy Maternity Bras: Oh my goodness, the breast tenderness and growth in the first trimester are no joke! Investing in comfortable maternity bras was essential from early on. They provided the necessary support without any uncomfortable wires or tight bands, making a world of difference.
- Ginger Chews: My battle with nausea was relentless, and ginger chews became my constant companion. I stashed them everywhere – throughout the house, in my purse, and in the car. I even carried one in my pocket almost every day until week 11, finding they offered reliable, albeit temporary, relief.
- Sugar-Free Gum: Another simple yet effective tool for combating nausea and the unpleasant gagging sensations was sugar-free gum. The minty freshness and act of chewing provided a welcome distraction and helped to settle my stomach.
- Large Insulated Water Bottle: Staying hydrated is crucial, especially when battling nausea and fatigue. A large, insulated water bottle encouraged me to drink consistently throughout the day, keeping my water cool and accessible.
- Pregnancy Journal or App: Documenting the week-by-week changes, symptoms, and emotions was incredibly helpful. Whether a physical journal or a dedicated pregnancy app, it allowed me to track progress, note questions for my doctor, and reflect on this extraordinary journey.
